Thursday, August 17, 1944

Engagements are funny things in WWII.  Grandma goes on and on about how Grandpa and she are going to be married, but then she doesn't want anybody in Missoula to know about.

"I got a letter from Laura the other day.  She said that Gale Madsen told her I was engaged to Roy.  Laura told her I was engaged to a boy named Bud and Gale said that I more than likely didn't want anyone to know yet so I just used another name.  Honestly, I don't know what to think.  I didn't want anyone at home to know, except the ones that I told, but I suppose everyone knows.  Don't say anything to anyone about that now, will you?  I told Bud and he got kind of a kick out of it.  I haven't written and told Roy yet, but I might.  I never had any understanding with whatever with him.  Oh well, I will wait and see how things turn out."

Then there is more gossip from Missoula.  Grandma's friend Marilyn is causing quite a stir.

"Laura said that she had quite a long talk with Eddy and that he said that he still loved Marilyn and that he might marry her right away if he can get her away from Martha and those kids she has been going with. ... I also got a letter from Marilyn and she told me all about what happened when Eddy was home.  He promised her that he would come to see her every weekend in Calif. now He also told her he knew part was his fault and wants to start all over now.  Maybe she will snap out of a lot of this foolishness and get back to the old Marilyn.  I hope so."

Not only is Marilyn running around with the wrong crowd, but she's also picked up some fascinating quirks!

"Laura said they all thought Marilyn had some nervous reaction.  She has picked up a way of jerking her head like Helen Kilburn and Spike Hayes do.  Boy, I got a kick out of that, here she thought she was real cute doing that and everyone thought she was afflicted."

Who are these people named Helen Kilburn and Spike Hayes?  Who would knowingly go by the name of Spike as an adult?  Unless you're in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and really want to make an impression on the neighborhood coven. 

Marilyn is the Karen of my Grandmother's group of friends, and I feel for her whenever Grandma lashes out towards her.  Then I recall that she ends up ditching Eddy and marrying Grandma's high school sweetheart, Roy.  Yes, the same Roy Grandma has to reach out to before he finds out about her engagement.  Needless to say, Grandma gets some wiggle room when it comes to the topic of Marilyn.  Marilyn so desperately wants to be liked and when her guiding force (Grandma) struck out on her own adventures, Marilyn lost her way.  From what I saw and remember of Marilyn when I met her when I was 4, it seems she got herself back on the right track.

Grandma and Marilyn and CHIEF!

On August 30, 1944

Saturday, August 12, 1944 - Monday, August 14, 1944

Great-Grandma Shannon is having a bad spell.  Grandma speaks honestly about her caregiving skills, and I know the repercussions of her statement.

"I wish I was there to take care of you, but I suppose I wouldn't be much of a help if I am anything like I used to be.  Remember the time you had indigestion and I asked you, in the worst part of your pains, if you had a stroke and it made you laugh and it hurt you all the more?  My, I was certainly a help, wasn't I?

Although she was not a natural caregiver, her humor often carried the family through.  There was always laughter in the Robinson household, even if it was the bitterest of times.

Grandma and Grandpa are now trying to plan their wedding!  They want to wait until the war is over so they can have a proper wedding, but I think the signs are there for them to make the commitment much sooner.  Even if all Grandma could concentrate on was a mosquito.

"Bud and I went over to the Luthern Service Center the other night, and there was a soldier and his girl that were going to be married and they didn't have anyone to stand up with them so we stood up with them.  All during the ceremony a mosquito was eating a way at me till I thought I was going to die -- I didn't want to move around and was it ever awful!"

Part of the process is Grandma's conversion to Lutheranism. I think the first thing to correct is Grandma's noun for the followers of Lutheranism.  She calls them Lutherns.  I love it!  She also talks about my two Great Aunts: Aunt Thelma and Aunt Charlotte.  It's odd to see her write about them as if she was an outsider.  They were always so present in our visits to St. Louis.  They were like my Grandma's own sisters and not just Sister-in-Laws.

"Bud has two sisters.  One is married and has a baby boy around a year old.  His other sister is 19 and is going to be married in February to a boy who is going to be a Luthern pastor.  She also plays the organ at church.  I went to church with Bud yesterday.  I think he expects me to become a Luthern.  I suppose I will, but I don't know yet whether I want to or not.  I guess I had better, because he is a devout Luthern and it might cause trouble between us later in life."

This passage is so much my Grandmother that it makes me giggle.  She always knew how to make me giggle.

Grandpa in his Navy Blues

On August 21, 1944

Friday, August 7, 1944

I am so thirsty for the knowledge in these letters.  They tell me things I could never grasp in the short 14 years I had with my Grandparents.  They quench my thirst and relieve my aching heart.  Speaking of thirst quenchers, let's talk about Beer.  Beer is part of my familial history.  It is present at every celebration and a drink of choice at dinner.  It is present in my family but not an issue in my family.  It adds to the joy that is my family.

My Father has a stake in a local brewery and is known through out our extended family as the beer connoisseur.  I have been popping beers open since I was 6 and my test question to potential suitors was, "What beer ya drinking?" Which was quickly followed up with, "What beer do you want to be drinkin?" Give me the cheap and watered down answer, you were never going to get along with my Father, and hence you were never going to get along with me.  NOW, I find that beer is in my maternal history as well!  My Great-Grandpa Robinson worked for Budweiser as an engineer, and they saved my Grandfather's family during the Great Depression.  Beer is a part of the family's social and generational history.  It connects us across the generations.

"I don't know when Bud and I will be married.  I doubt until after the war.  He is Scotch-Irish, some German -- a mongrel like we are.  I have been kind of leary about telling you where his Dad worked because he works for a beer company.  The Budweiser (sp) beer company.  I guess he is an engineer of some kind.  Bud has told me but I forgot just what he said and I hate to keep asking him, and I am scared to tell him you might disapprove.  I have read letters his Dad has written to Bud and he seems to be well educated -- he writes very well.  He wrote and told Bud that he approved of us and he said, "May God bless the two of you and go with you the rest of you(r) lives" or something like that.  I thought it was awfully nice of him.  Bud has two sisters, he had 3 sisters but one died a few years ago."

Any information that brings me closer to my Grandparents urges me to understand what is important in life.  Above all it's your family, and whatever joys or pains they bring you. They shape you and they share in your life no matter what.  If they bring beer, it usually adds to your joy and eases your pain.  Hence why most of my family gatherings are pretty joyful.  

Grandpa and his parents with some Random person who crashed the party
My Great-Grandfather (the beer engineer) is on the far right

On August 7, 1944

Friday, August 4, 1944

Great Aunt Peggy's visit is coming to an end.  Grandma enjoyed having her and being out of uniform for a while.  She really looks forward to never wearing a uniform ever again.

I hate to see Peggy leave.  She likes it down here and has had a good time.  It is like a vacation for me in a way.  I have been able to sit around in shorts and go out in the yard without having to get into uniform and that seemed wonderful.  Well, someday I will be able to do it again and never have to worry about the war -- if it will only get over soon.  It looks like things are going well now tho.  Bud doesn't seem to think that it will last too long."

Photographs played such a role in 1940s letters.  They were connections to home and to the people you loved.  Grandma talks about the letter Great-Grandma just sent with photos of Great-Grandpa's tombstone.  She's anxious to see the photos because she isn't home to see that his tombstone is properly handled.  She cannot control the situation and as her anxiety is a genetic trait, I can understand her agony and frustration.  

"I just called Peggy up and she said we had two letters from you.  I am anxious to get home and see the pictures of Daddy's tombstone.  Peg said that she likes it."

Photographs were the touchstones of this generation.  Film and getting pictures developed were major costs, and photos were reserved for special occasions.  WWII gave this generation reasons to produce photos because you didn't know if you would ever see that person ever again.  Life held more meaning and people wanted to capture moments that were precious to them.

"We are going to finish up our films this weekend so Peggy can bring the pictures home with her.  We have only two rolls.  I want to get a picture of me and Bud when we got on our swimming suits, but our whites.  He always wear whites.  I usually wear my greys but I want me to be in white."

Grandma can be pretty sneaky when she wants to be.  She wants to be in her whites so she can suggest to the viewer of the photograph that her outfit is more bridal.  Maybe I am reading too much into it but Grandma would totally do something like that.

One of my favorite photos from the lot

On July 19, 1944

Monday, July 24, 1944

Grandpa is writing Great-Grandma Shannon for Grandma's hand in marriage!  Grandma wants to get married in Montana, but Grandpa loves his pastor in St. Louis.  They both want to wait to get married after the war, but I don't remember is they wait that long!

"He and I are going to be married some day, after the war preferably.  He wants his folks and you to be there when we are married.  He wanted Peggy to look him over and go home and tell you about him and then he is going to write you and ask you if it is all right with you to marry me.  So when he writes let it be a big surprise to you.  He is very fond of his pastor in St. Louis and has always wanted him to marry him when he was married, but I told him that you aren't well and could never come to St. Louis and that I wanted to be married at home, so we hope that his folks will be able to come out to Missoula then.  I think they would, because he is the only boy in the family(He has 2 sisters), and they think the sun rises and sets in him."

My Grandfather's sisters always said that Grandpa was their favorite.  Well, at least I like to think that Great Aunt Thelma and Charlotte loved him the best.  I never really knew him, but they made sure I heard plenty of stories about him.

"Well, I guess that is enough of that.  I want you to be surprised when he writes to you.  He wanted to let you know before I did.  Although, he knows that I have written you a lot about us and you know we like each other a lot.  I hope that everything will turn out OK.  His real name is Walter William Robinson, but he is called Bud."

Both of my Grandfathers went by Bud.  I did a little digging and found out that Bud is often used when a son is a Jr.  My Dad's Dad was Delbert Ogden Wyse Jr and that's where (I think) Grandpa Wyse started going by Bud.  On the other hand, if you had an odd or a sometimes hard to yell across the ship yard name in the service, they might give you a nickname.  Anyone willing to enlighten me on why there are SO many buds in WWII?  Links to research would be helpful.  Also in the interest of names and nicknames, If I was a boy my name would be William Walter Wyse.  My initials would have been WWW.  That would have been just in time for the advent of the at-home internet.  Thank God I am a girl.

One of my favorite photos of the them

On July 10, 1944

Tuesday, July 18, 1944

Is it true that people who live in warmer climes have thinner blood?  Grandma says that Great Aunt Peggy is so sluggish because her blood hasn't thinned out as much as Grandma's.

"The weather has been rather rainy but it has been so hot it is a relief to have it rain.  We go in the ocean quite a bit, and Peggy loves it.  She isn't too peppy but she still is all right.  I think if her blood would thin out she would be better.  My blood is quite thin now."

My blood never thickened while I lived in Chicago.  It was just so bitterly cold all the time that I learned to conserve heat by not opening my mouth.  Complaining led to major heat loss.  One can spare the heat whining in Atlanta as it rarely gets near freezing.

It ceases to amaze me how I can get so sidetracked by one sentence.  The true meat of this letter is in its main paragraph.  (Oh my gosh, wow, REALLY).  This letter is Grandma's realizations that she wants to be exclusive with Grandpa.  She puts it all on him, but I know from first hand experience that the way she describes his love for her is a reflection of the love she has for him.

"Yesterday I got a call from a Lt. that I used to go with and he asked me to go out with him last nigh.  I said I would go, and I guess I hurt Bud pretty baldy by going.  I told him before I went out and everything.  He, Bud, had the afternoon off yesterday, so he went out to visit Peg and I guess he was so lonesome for me that he about died.  I have a pair of shorts that needed washing and some mending done to them, so Bud fixed them for me while he sat and talked to Peggy.  I get quite a kick out of it.  Today he took me to lunch and brought me a present, it is a thing made out of shells that has perfume inside of it.  It is more for decoration on you(r) dresser or something.  He took me out to one of the best places to eat, too.  I had a nice time last nite but I felt kind of funny going out with Don, because I have only gone out with Bud since I have been back.  He is an awfully nice boy, Mother, he goes to church all the time too.  He goes to the Lutheran Church, and he is going to make me go with him every Sunday.  I have gone with him before and it is a nice church, so I guess it won't kill me to go with him.  Bud was overseas for 28 months and has been in 7 major battles.  He has quite a few things to wear on his chest."

I didn't know to what extent Grandpa's military service was.  I definitely teared up with pride over that last sentence though.

Grandpa at Grandma and Great Aunt Peggy's Apartment

On June 27, 1944

Friday, July 14, 1944

For the first time in my life, Great and Aunt Peggy and Grandma disappoint me.  They've been together a week and they haven't gotten into any mischief!  However, I think Grandma is trying to fix Great Aunt Peggy up with her CO.

"Peg came into town yesterday and met me for lunch.  She met Beverly and the kids and I took her over to the barracks.  She didn't get to meet Comdr. because he was out of the office, but she will be in again.  He was awfully disappointed he didn't get to meet her.  I told him I was going to rent a car when she came down here and he said it was too expensive and that we could use his car, he has a lot of gas and so I might, but as yet I don't know.  I thought that was awfully nice of him to offer it though."

After those comments though I take it back.  Grandma's CO might be sweet on her!

Ruth (used to be) Timm's wedding is still a hot topic in Grandma's letters.  Grandma wants all the news she can get.

I am anxious to the paper about Ruth's wedding.  I will write to them and send her a little gift.  I bet she is really happy.  After that Royce deal I a so glad she could find such a nice boy and he sounds os refined and everything.  She sent me a picture of him and he seemed to be nice looking, but I could see Ruth was a little taller than he is."

Her anxiety over the newspaper and her comment about Ruth's Husband height makes me wonder if there's something behind those comments.  Grandma was a master at hiding her true feelings in plain sight.  She is still the reigning queen of the loaded question.  Her implications abound.  It's why we got along so well.  She would imply something and I would cut through the crap.  It worked best when I was little and hadn't perfected my filter.  Grandma thought it was funny.  My forthrightness lost its shine when I hit puberty.

The anxiety and the height comment make immediately think about my Grandfather.  Grandpa towered over Grandma he was at least 6'2".  Grandma was maybe 5'4"?  So, she wants info about a wedding and mentioned that her friend's new husband is shorter than her.  This makes me think that what she is telling my Great-Grandmother is that she is a little jealous of Ruth and her marriage.  That she wants to get married to Grandpa.  I could also be reading waaaaaay too much into this and being crazy.  But as Crazy Eyes says, "I am not crazy, I am unique."

On June 17, 1944