Certain people are able to disguise their emotions when writing. I am not one of those people. When perturbed, I tend to write my feelings and I feel infinitely better. Regrettably, I reread the letter fifty more times, but this process is faster than me taking up someone else's time with my overreactions. Unfortunately, I still torture my friends and family with every minute scruple that goes on in my life. I love y'all dearly for that. Also, thank you for not running away screaming. Thankfully, I am completely desolate in my writing, and only slightly desolate when I talk to my friends and family. You should have seen my high school diary. Tears streak some of the pages...wish I was kidding. My Grandmother on the other hand, is able to shut it down before she picks up a pen! She took her Officer's Training Entry exam (yes, that is the Naval lingo), and this is all she has to say about it:
"I took my test and it was very hard. I am not sure that I will be an Officer now. If I'm not I will be home for X-mas tho."
That's all she said about it! Although, I do the same thing when I'm disappointed. I get discouraged and then push it aside. "Oh well, I'll move on." I just tuck it in the back of my mind until I am able to deal with it. Again, you should have seen my high school diary. So, this is what she is doing. Grandma is covering it up and minimizing her pained feelings so they don't fluster her. I cannot wait till I read her letter where she finally unleashes her fury on this subject.
In my family, we tend to misdirect our irritation onto other areas of our lives. We tend to harshly express ourselves towards the object of our misdirected irritation. Grandma does this on her new roommate.
"I have a new roommate and I'm not too impressed with her. She's around 28 and is real fat. The only satisfaction I have is I'm smaller than she is."
I am sure there are other reasons beyond this woman's physical appearance that bug my Grandmother, and I believe that she never was truly rude to this woman about her weight. If she was, I am sorry to this woman and I would admonish my Grandmother if she was alive. Again, Grandma is misdirecting her anger and is taking it out on this woman. I think there's more to this story and I will keep y'all updated. This also serves as proof that Grandma is still shaken by the Officer's test and that it is of great significance to her. I know this because of my family's famous misdirection of fury.
Flamboyant vocabulary is a particular passion of mine. It adds a flair of the dramatic to everyday conversation. For instance, I tend to use dated slang from the 40s and I do refer to my father as Daddio. Grandma uses it to express her sorrow over losing Marvel and disguising it as a need for an alarm clock.
"Say - if you should see an alarm clock - grab it. I haven't any timepiece. Marvel had everything and when she left I was left practically desolate. I can gets irons but I surely wish I had one."
Grandma's desolation over the need for a timepiece is her hiding her loneliness. Her joyous use of language makes the connection across the decades stronger.
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